Friday, November 7, 2014

Naruto Shippuden Critique Introduction:The Shyamalan Syndrome

                                         
                                         
WARNING: INCOMING BASHING!

Naruto is unquestionably one of the most iconic manga/anime out there. Evident by the recent Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Episode where Bart Simpson pretends to be the main character of the series and its sales. Even Snoop Dogg is a Naruto fan, look it up. Its not too surprising as it wasn't just a good action manga, but also a pretty good underdog story, about how hard work can trump natural talent anytime, and that you make your own destiny. Along with great characterization, drama, and story telling.

Well, that was what was Part 1 about. When the series started approaching the time skip now as "Shippuden"(which just ended) the symptoms of the Shyamalan Syndrome started to manifest in the writing. What is Shyamalan Syndrome you ask? Well, look at director M. Night Shyamalan's career. He was an academy award nominee for best writer with the Sixth Sense. But years later he won several Razzies awards with The Last Airbender. Basically the Shyamalan Syndrome is something that goes from hit to shit. 

The symptoms of SS include:

-Massive Plot holes.
-Nonsensical plotting.
-Unbelievable characterization.
-Subpar storytelling.
-Not following the "show, don't tell" rule.
-Terrible pacing.
-Pretentiousness.
-Contrivances
-Unintentional comedy. 
-Epic phail.

M. Night Shyamalan's films such as Signs, Lady in The Water, The Happening, The Last Airbender, and After Earth have at least two of these symptoms. Naruto Shippuden actually has all of these and more which I'll talk about in a series of blogs but I want to talk about the ending first in this one. 

Hell, Masashi Kishimoto has become an even bigger laughing stock than Shyamalan himself. Want proof? Google "asspull" and see what images pop up. I'll give you a second...

:kermit

Okay, you done? What did you see?...A shit ton of Naruto Shippuden images! So anyone who searches for that word and doesn't know of Naruto will think that was the title of the series. I mean there is Kick-Ass so people won't have a problem believing that a Japanese comic would have such title.
:rotfl

You know what? How about from now I'll refer to Shuppuden as Asspull? I mean Shippuden(especially the War Saga) is filled with them. Along with a mix of retcons and a dash of plot holes.

I bet you're wondering if I made this blog just to mock Asspull. Well, that's only partly true. I want to cheer up fans of Naruto, but are disappointed with Asspull and its half-ass ending. While also putting out legit criticisms to put certain types of people in their place. I'll let this video explain what I am talking about.





That's right, the Narutard. A fascinating creature isn't? Last week, I had a Narutard freaking out when I pointed out three giant plot holes in the series. Yesterday, I saw a Narutard telling someone to jump out a window for criticizing Sakura's atrocious character. When someone criticizes Asspull Narutards always say "don't like it, don't read it". Its almost as if they know that this once great series is now trash but they try to block it out of their minds and have panic attack when someone reminds them.
 :hurr

See, Asspull is less of an of time skip and more like a bad fanfic and parody of Naruto. Hard work can trump natural talent anytime? Naw, if you're not related to the Sage of Six Paths you're useless. Naruto an underdog? Not anymore, as he's now part of a famous clan like Sasuke. He's also the chosen one, a Child of Prophecy destined to fight a boy with magical eyes(Sasuke). He couldn't stop his second fight with Sasuke at the Valley's End even though he wanted to. So the final battle shows that you can't change your destiny after all.
 :zaru

I think that was the reason why Neji was killed. Kishi must have realized that he fucked up and created a disjointed narrative with the Child of Prophecy cliche. So he killed off Neji to keep him from saying that he was right. Evident by Sasuke not reviving him with his rinnigan abilities even though he is partly responsible for the revival of Ten-tails which killed him, Inochi, Shikaku, and many others. 
  :fuck


That's one of the reasons why many readers think the ending sucks. Sasuke gets absolutely no punishment for his quest to destroy to the Leaf Village out of petty reasons. What makes it worse is that this quest lead to the deaths of Samurai and the revival of the Ten-Tails as already mentioned(gave Obito dat tail). He doesn't even get exiled from the ninja nations. Reviving the people who's deaths Sasuke cause both directly and indirectly would have made his pardon acceptable. Stopping the world from becoming Zetsu(which was big cop-out I'll get into later) is not enough to excuse murder, attempted murder, and especially being an accessory to mass murder. 

Another reason why people think the ending sucks is because its rushed. People reflecting being in Infinite Tsukuyomi? People grieving those who's lives that were lost during the war? Tsunade giving Kakashi the Hokage title? Closure to major characters like Orochimaru and Kabuto? We get none that. 

Myself and many others sort of expected something like the starfish episode from Justice League, where Superman had this illusionary life on Krypton, and once he realized it was all a dream he just held his son as everything started to disintegrate. I mean they were in an illusion that lasted over 24 hours about their deceased loved ones being alive, so it must hurt to realize they are actually dead. It would have been interesting to see and add some drama but...rushed. Hinata should have been crying realizing that Neji was actually dead instead of smiling. Then again, she did go from grieving Neji to getting her panties soaked over holding Naruto's hand rather quickly. 

:Hinata: "Oh right, Neji is actually dead...But at least I had the longest romantic dream ever!...Oh, I need to change my pants before people think I wet myself..."

The only person that received some real grieving was Neji, showing his grave and Hinata crying. We don't see Inochi and Shikaku's graves and their kids are only shown in one panel with only Choiji crying and he didn't even lose his father, wtf. The funeral also only gets one measly page while Hirzen's funeral got a whole chapter and I think Asuma's did as well, another wtf. And what about Ao and Mabui who also died? Why aren't we shown Mei and A grieving them? That was an incredibly haf-assed requiem that should have been much more than a page and have actual dialogue instead of Sasuke's monologue about his "friendship" with Naruto.

Why did Tsunade resign from being Hokage all of a sudden? There is no reason given and Kakashi just lost his sharingan, making him the weakest Hokage in history. I guess its because Obito told Kakashi to be the sixth Hokage and that asshole's word is law. He is the coolest guy after all!

There was this guy on Naruto Forums called tari101190 who kept saying for months that Asspull will end on chapter 700 with more pages than usual that will wrap everything up. Well, he was right about the former but dead wrong about the latter as it was around as long as any other chapter. What the fuck happened to Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Team Hawk? What was that power Hashirama gave Sasuke to defeat Madara? What was the Zetsu army for? All half-assed! Hagoromo leaves off-panel and Spiral Zetsu dies for no logical reason! W...T...F!

Then there is the epilogue which also serves as Part 3's intro.  Its pretty much fanservice for pairing fans. Many people don't like it due the lack of development of the pairings and the designs of the children. Personally I'm fine with the epilogue as I chuckle at the thought of Hinata getting the Sexy Reverse Harem Justu followed by the Uzumaki Barrage where Naruto kicks her...with his third legs! I mean come on? Naruto's a pervert and 99% of wives would love their husbands to have such an ability(don't lie ladies).  There was already loads of hentai of Naruto gang-banging Hinata and there will tons more now that its canon!


It's amazing how everyone had kids around the same time. Then again, Kishi kinda foreshadowed the "baby boom" in a 2013 interview.


The only thing I truly dislike about the epilogue is SasuSaku being canon for obvious reasons. Which almost every reader I have seen is disgusted about. Just look at this poll here from a Naruto Board.



Speaking of SasuSaku, Sakura will be one subjects of my blog series as she is one of seven major flaws in Asspull. The following subjects will be in this orders:

Chapter 1: Sakura Haruno 
Chapter 2: The Oostusuki Family
Chapter 3: Obito Uchiha
Chapter 4: The War Saga
Chapter 5: Wasted Characters
Chapter 6: Half-Baked Ideas
Chapter 7: Sasuke Uchiha 
Chapter 8: Naruto Uzukmaki
Chapter 9: Rating

See you next time on Asspull!

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